By 40, you should have…
1. A purpose or on the road to finding one.
2. Your own sense of style, not based on your friends or what you see in magazines.
3. Good credit.
4. A collection of stories that you can tell a group of strangers at a party or your grandkids one day.
5. Broken a bone. If you have not broken a bone by now, you have not played hard enough.
6. At least 5 stamps on your passport.
7. Told another man that you loved him. Not in a romantic way. But because as friends you have gone through a lot and sharpened each other but more importantly you are comfortable enough with yourself to say that to another man.
8. Healthy boundaries with your parents.
9. A savings.
10. Jeans that fit.
11. A healthy diet and an exercise routine because your metabolism has stopped.
12. The ability to parallel park on the first or second attempt. Not third or fourth.
13. Appropriate shoes.
14. Cried uncontrollably at least once.
15. The ability to finish an entire crossword puzzle. It doesn’t have to be The New York Times on Saturday. Just any, even the TV Guide.
16. Lived and learned enough to mentor someone.
17. Enough social skills to be left alone at a party / social gathering.
18. A firm handshake.
19. The ability to forgive.
20. A rebirth.
By 40, you should know…
1. How to be metacognitive. If you don’t know what that means, I hope you’re not 40.
2. What 20% of a bill is without pulling out a calculator.
3. How to pleasure a woman.
4. Your defects (pain / wiring) and working on fixing them (healing / rewiring).
5. Your worth, your value, and your non-negotiables.
6. How to use chopsticks, especially if you are NOT Asian.
7. The difference between making love and fucking and when which one is appropriate.
8. How to make a bed without it having to be redone by your partner.
9. The art of listening.
10. How to change a flat tire. Even if you never have to do it.
11. How to cook one good meal without using the microwave.
12. What kind of people you want to surround yourself with and the ability to do it.
13. Where you’re going and who’s going with you. Not the other way around.
14. How to control your alcohol.
15. That you were meant to change the world in some way.
16. That man makes the money. Money doesn’t make the man.
17. Not to compare yourself to other men.
18. How to ride a motorcycle. This doesn’t mean you have to buy one. Just know what it feels like to feel so powerful and powerless at the same time.
19. Not to wear skinny jeans no matter how fashionable they are.
20. How to build and rebuild a safe container.
What’s on your personal list of things to have and know – and possibly do – before turning 40?