An Online Therapeutic Movement

About

Open on a Korean kid sporting parachute pants and getting yelled at by his dad for spinning on his head in the driveway.   “This is NOT why we came to America”.  Yeah, I know.  We came for the education.  But I’ve never been a good student.  My parents were always working so I was raised by pop culture and fast food.   I hated school.  I wanted to make movies.

CUT TO:  BMX, skating, screenwriting.  A restaurant bar turned night club in Hollywood.  Chaos.  Delusion.  Chasing rainbows and pulling from false beliefs.  Then marriage.  Anger.  Depression.  Therapy.  Divorce.  And a little personal blog titled The Angry Therapist.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

Writing feverishly again.  But this time blog posts instead of screenplays and a desire to helps instead of trying to match a polished blueprint formed by what I believed at the time was happiness.  Enter questions, advice, emails, a storm of online sessions, and finally the branch that pulled me out of quicksand, a sense of purpose.   Through my own story, I created my own theory / program and started coaching other on how to rebuild their own containers.  And I did it in unconventional ways.  Threw out all the “shoulds” from therapy school and started seeing clients online, coffee shops, diners, walks around a lake.  I wrote books, created an online community, and practiced transparency.  Through this process, I learned that there can be a new way to “treat” clients, one that is less clinical and more casual, without labels or an office, and using the internet as a therapeutic tool.  Dare I say that your therapist can also be a friend?

Today, although technically I am a licensed marriage family therapist and supervisor, I don’t consider myself one.  I’m just a guy who loves coffee and motorcycles, loves to write and sweat (CrossFit), and tries to live a life worth living.  I have shitty days and continue to try to work on myself.   But at the end of the day, I consider myself a catalyst.  I believe we all are.  Change happens through collisions.  I’ve collided with thousands in the last five years and each have formed who I am today as well as my path.

My focus now is on creating a team of catalysts and a platform that will change the temperature of the “therapy room”.   And as I “play with my Legos” as I call it, I will continue to color outside the lines, question everything, build cool shit, and keep my dial turned to how I want to be remembered instead of how I want to be perceived.  I will throw the biggest net and create tools to help others.   I look forward to colliding with you.  If we were meant to, we will.

- Angry

 

 

Comments (6)

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    Ally

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    Hi Angry! :) Love your blog and your posts, they are always so inspiring and I sometimes have your words of wisdom printed so I can go back to them whenever I fell I need them… I read about changing the way people will see your Office Hours and I must say that for people like me, being overseas (Romania) watching them recorded was a great thing, since I cannot take part while it happens, and also, sometimes just listening to things, may trigger different ideas about your own life, without previously thinking that one might have been related to the topic… Anyway, I hope you will consider this option :) Have a lovely week and congrats for such great work!

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Marshall Waddell

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    Great to learnc about your work and how you help others. Be well.

    Reply

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    Sophia

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    Hi John,

    My name is Sophia and I found out about you from MINDBODYGREEN when I read your post on “How to Change Someone”.

    My boyfriend, Sam recently broke up with me. We have been dating for the last two years, and I thought that we would last because of all the things we had to go through together.

    I didn’t see the break up coming at all –in fact, I always thought that we would be able to work out anything together. However, he told me that he doesn’t see us working out because he cannot let go of something that happened a year and a half ago. Granted, I know that it was a BIG thing.

    When I met Sam, I was in the process of a separation, and then, a divorce. I had recently moved out of my house at the time and I could feel myself falling in love with Sam, while falling out of love with my ex -husband. However, I took a long time reaching that decision and 5 months after I had started dating Sam, I put myself in a situation I shouldn’t have and I hooked up with my ex-husband. I didn’t tell Sam, until I filed the divorce and Sam told me that he wanted to know everything that had happened. I told him I wasn’t ready to talk to him about it, but he kept insisting and when I filed for divorce, I told him that I had sinned against him and I apologized. It’s something that we fight about because Sam would tell me that he had nightmares where I would be hooking up with my ex.. Sam’s initial reaction a year ago was that he thought he could forgive me and he wanted to see how things go, but now he says he doesn’t think it will work

    Three weeks ago, when we had a simple argument, he told me that he still has occasional nightmares, that he doesn’t trust me, and that he should leave a cheater like me. He quoted from a blog called “chump lady” and told me that he thinks that cheating was my way of getting power. I told him that I knew that he knows better than that, or at least he used to.

    I’d like to fill you in on more details and get your advice if possible.
    Thanks,
    Sophia

    sophia.l.wong@gmail.com
    (408) 438-2902

    Reply

  • Avatar

    fran ayala

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    From one Asian to another, you have simply made me realized where all of my rage and anger comes from… you give me strength to own my anger and dance with it. I love that the power of words come naturally to you and speak to me effortlessly. Today is a beautiful day because I may have found my medium to finally heal from years of senseless bullshit. Namaste.

    Reply

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    Lei

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    I prayed to the Angels to guide me to my tribe and they have answered with your website. I’m in my first year of claiming my identity, my responsibility to life, asking questions and healing those old childhood wounds that have brought me nothing but pain and shame, and as I challenge myself to face my fears and push through rather than run away, I find myself alone. Family and friends don’t understand me, they see a shift and don’t know what to make of it. To everyone else I look like a rebel without a cause yet I do have one, it’s just that my internal world is changing and purging and realigning and creating space to allow the new in and until this happens it’s hard to see who I really am from the outside.
    I feel like I have been validated by attracting this site. That my question to the universe, am I on track to the life I wish to pursue, and I feel like I got a huge “YES” in reply. Just the other day, I decided that I’m responsible for my own happiness, that life is indeed short, that I have a daughter who needs a strong role model to show her how awesome life can be living in the light versus fear that I was raised with, and I feel pretty damn excited about this new venture and what I’m about to learn.
    So thank you kindly in advance cuz I’m pretty sure I’m gonna get a whooping of “aha” moments reading everyone’s posts here.
    Aloha!

    Reply

  • Avatar

    Candice

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    Hi Angry,
    Mainly my question here is whether or not I should be in a relationship to actually appreciate this forum. While I have certainly had my share of relationship troubles and I personally feel it is the men I have attracted that should be seeking the therapy, I would like to take a deeper look into myself and discover what I can do to change who attract, why I get so attached and how to let go a lot easier when things go sour. Think you can help?

    Thanks,
    Looking for love in all the wrong places

    Reply

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"Before you make any decision. Ask yourself one thing. What if you did the opposite?" - - Angry... http://t.co/1xdEKe41f4

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