Open on a Korean kid sporting parachute pants and getting yelled at by his dad for spinning on his head in the driveway. “This is NOT why we came to America”. Yeah, I know. We came for the education. But I’ve never been a good student. My parents were always working so I was raised by pop culture and fast food. I hated school. I wanted to make movies.
CUT TO: BMX, skating, screenwriting. A restaurant bar turned night club in Hollywood. Chaos. Delusion. Chasing rainbows and pulling from false beliefs. Then marriage. Anger. Depression. Therapy. Divorce. And a little personal blog titled The Angry Therapist.
Writing feverishly again. But this time blog posts instead of screenplays and a desire to helps instead of trying to match a polished blueprint formed by what I believed at the time was happiness. Enter questions, advice, emails, a storm of online sessions, and finally the branch that pulled me out of quicksand, a sense of purpose. Through my own story, I created my own theory / program and started coaching other on how to rebuild their own containers. And I did it in unconventional ways. Threw out all the “shoulds” from therapy school and started seeing clients online, coffee shops, diners, walks around a lake. I wrote books, created an online community, and practiced transparency. Through this process, I learned that there can be a new way to “treat” clients, one that is less clinical and more casual, without labels or an office, and using the internet as a therapeutic tool. Dare I say that your therapist can also be a friend?
Today, although technically I am a licensed marriage family therapist and supervisor, I don’t consider myself one. I’m just a guy who loves coffee and motorcycles, loves to write and sweat (CrossFit), and tries to live a life worth living. I have shitty days and continue to try to work on myself. But at the end of the day, I consider myself a catalyst. I believe we all are. Change happens through collisions. I’ve collided with thousands in the last five years and each have formed who I am today as well as my path.
My focus now is on creating a team of catalysts and a platform that will change the temperature of the “therapy room”. And as I “play with my Legos” as I call it, I will continue to color outside the lines, question everything, build cool shit, and keep my dial turned to how I want to be remembered instead of how I want to be perceived. I will throw the biggest net and create tools to help others. I look forward to colliding with you. If we were meant to, we will.