Sonder - According to the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows the word sonder is: "n. the realization that each... http://t.co/HcK9H1f5WX
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Professional, compassionate, honest
I began working with John Kim to address divorce issues. He helped me work through fear and anxiety with a beautiful blend of compassion and honesty. We were very real with each other. I was in marriage counseling before the breakup and afterwards. That experience was extremely limiting because I was not ready to be open and because I was afraid to trust my counselor. This time around, with John, he encouraged me and listened and asked tough questions and I felt valued and valuable. He encouraged me to supply answers to my questions by asking me to visualize, ie "What would it look like if..."
I was initially drawn to the Angry Therapist blog through another website with a post about red lipstick. I started reading the Angry blog and silently cheered, laughed, and cried with longing over the Date Night posts. I finally wrote him to tell him how much I admired him and we started working together. He taught me the word transparency, both with his own life and blog and through his books. I love the fact that I can have a session with him over Skype and have the luxury of emoting. I would sometimes leave the marriage counselor and stumble crying to my car and tremble and shake over things that came up in therapy and then I would have to drive home. Now, I can have a good long meltdown without worrying about driving home with frayed nerves. I use the word meltdown but I mean in a good way. We don't pretend in sessions. Real and ugly things come up and are examined. I make notes during our sessions and review them between times. He also assigned homework, which I loved and was a great way to really think through issues on my own time. I trusted John almost immediately because of his transparency and kindness. He looked at me during sessions and I felt like he was really engaged. I felt like he trusted me. I challenged him sometimes, saying that I didn't know or accept things and/or citing self-help books and crappy philosophy. He really does mean what he says about the ego and pseudo self. Another less secure therapist probably would have been upset about my lack of cooperation. Not John. He is who he says he is in his books, his practice, his blog. I haven't seen him professionally for a bit because I feel level and strong. I know he helped me get to this point and I know that he is there for me if I need a session. I will forever be grateful for him for his help and encouragement. I admire him so much for his work and his past and his commitment to helping people in a non-conventional way with online or out of office sessions. He is generous. I value the messages of praise and encouragement he has given me. He recognizes that some work is better outside of offices and the connection is that much more powerful.
I highly recommend John Kim as a therapist. His style is forward and progressive. I am a very different person than I was before our work together and I credit the tools he offers to change and improve and grow into a full and healthy life.