There is no such thing.
Once you buy into this, you are entering a very slippery slope. Suddenly you wish you can go back and change things. You wonder if you made a mistake, if you’ll ever meet someone with similar qualities again. You begin to obsess. Your dial’s now turned to Take and you spend a lot of energy wanting to rewrite your story, which creates instant anxiety and yanks you out of the present. You become powerless and feel hopeless.
Then you start to internalize. You rewind, review, and blame. You examine your defects and wonder if things would have been different if you were thiner, smarter, funnier, etc. Your self esteem drops. You get depressed. You walk with a dark cloud. No one wants to be around you. You become lonely. And this loneliness becomes the fuel that makes you want to pick up the phone and negotiate.
But you find out they have moved on and you sink deeper and deeper, falling into the great abyss known as living in your head.
Instead of labeling someone as the one that got away, reframe. He didn’t get away. He made you realize the things you want. He was the one that gave you hope that there is “that” out there. The relationship expired for a reason. You guys were never meant to be longer than it was. And you took someone from it. Hope. Standards. A
more accurate blueprint.
We learn something from every collision.
Unless we are only focused on going back and changing it.
Don’t ever say someone got away. No one got away. They gave you a gift, a gift that if you don’t accept will turn into a curse.
The choice is yours.
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